To the young Marine that Jennifer and I saw in Wal-Mart last night: we get that you are a Marine. We get that you just got out of basic and that you're proud of what you have accomplished. We get that your little girlfriend likes a man in uniform. Now don't get me wrong, I am deeply grateful to you for choosing to serve our country and protect us, but there are a few things that you should be aware of.
1. Your brand new, still bearing the lines from being folded grey Marines t-shirt does not match with what you were wearing last night, no matter how proud you may be.
2. If you are still that freakin' scrawny after just finishing basic, then maybe you should wear somehthing other than the afore-mentioned almost-too-small Marines t-shirt.
3. You should be advised that all of that running outside with your cover on has left you with an extremely obvious tan line on the top half of your head. Accordingly, you may want to consider wearing a hat.